The Statue and Changeling
by Nibbz
Summary: Human kind was given one third of the Golden Crown to seal the peace treaty. Over time the legend of the Golden Army faded in human culture but the Crown did not fade. It was passed down through the generations yet lost soon enough. Now the Crown piece has been sighted by an unlikely duo and an Elvin Prince.
1. Meet the Contestants

The Troll market was such a busy place, no matter the time of day. Trolls, Golems and others more disgusting or beautiful wandered around looking at the stalls. Some had rotting fish, others jewelry or weird trinkets, and occasionally some books or scrolls. The noise was almost unbearable, the smell horrendous in spots. Toothfairies buzzed around, looking for a meal.

By one of the rotting fish stalls, hidden by the shadow of the worn and cracked pillar, a woman waited. Situated perfectly to avoid the disgusting smell of the fish monger nearby and in a zone with comfortable level of noise. She was covered in a heavy, worn black cloak with a hood that hid most of her fair face. From afar, one could note that her hair was almost snow white against the dark cloak and almost matched her skin. She was casually looking at a piece of worn parchment. Thea sighed in boredom as she flipped the parchment around her fingers over and over. A toothfairy flew near her looking for scraps from the fish stall, a quick cold glance from her smoke gray eyes sent the thin blue creature on its way, fearing for its life.

The Troll market was as alive as its inhabitants. It had its own pulse, a pulse that coursed through each creature, each being, in the place. The merchants were trying to peddle their goods, and those less trustworthy shop owners were swindling a seemingly unsuspecting public.

Predatory blue eyes searched the area for his target. Despite her hiding in the darkness and her dark attire, he found her rather easily. No shroud of darkness could hope to hide her from him. He made his way past several civilians toward the pale skinned woman and at long last he had reached her. A half-smile pulled at his lips as he looked into her gray eyes. Evan ran a hand through his short, chocolate brown hair and threw his arm confidently around her shoulders. "Hey gorgeous," he greeted her.

"Hey stud-cake. Find anything interesting?" The woman asked the confident man as he slung his arm around her. His exceptionally suggestive action did not faze her in the slightest. The piece of parchment disappeared into the fabric.

"Because I found nothing. For the second day in the row." Thea growled as she waved her hand around in slight frustration.

Evan's grin widened at her pet name for him and he watched her tuck the piece of parchment away. In all honesty he watched every move she made. Evan had learned, as one often did when they did what he did for a living that you always had to keep an eye on everyone. If you didn't then you lost the upper hand, and anyone could surprise you at any given moment.

"Well I did find something," he said sounding triumphant, "That lovely lady, selling remedies over there, well her name is Leila and that we may be seeing one another Friday. Otherwise I'm to ring her at this number." he replied as he showed her the palm of his hand proudly.

There was a small pause as Thea looked at his hand, then to his face, and back again to his hand. "I see no way of this being relevant to what we're looking for." She raised her hand before he could make a witty, dirty remark. The gleam in his eye gave it all away.

"You know what I'm referring to." Thea mentioned as she slipped away from Evan's arm and down the dark alleyway.

He just laughed at her comment. Evan knew that she'd react exactly this way, which is precisely why he'd done it. When she slipped away he just shrugged it off and followed her.

"Don't worry sweetheart, it's nothing serious." he continued, "Anyhow, I also found out something about what we're looking for."

"That's what you always say. I'm worried that it will be serious one day." Thea teased back at Evan. She walked out of the alley and stood at the edge of the crowd cheering on two creatures fighting.

Evan just scoffed, "Trust me sweetheart, I have yet to find a woman who could even hope to hold my interest that way." His eyes fell on the creatures in a look of indifference. He didn't much care for these sorts of things unless he was placing a bet or benifiting from the display in some manner.

"So what did you find out?" She asked as she returned from her mini side adventure.

"Well, it's no longer in the hands of humans. Whomever they gave the object in question to is dead. Surely not to natural causes. From what I've gathered it was picked up, and perhaps sold or traded to another party. Problem is finding the party it was sold to." He explained.

Thea scoffed, "Of course the humans would lose it. Pansies. The lot of them." Then she mulled over some thoughts rolling in her head.

"Yes, but what can they do? They aren't gifted with the abilities or the possible benefits that come with being more than human." He replied with a shrug.

"Though if the human was taken out by one of those monsters over there," she tilted her head to a large troll like creature, with dreadlocks and charms made of various bones and in general was just gigantic, "I would be sympathetic."

"Well of course," Evan commented, "Anyone who finds themselves against the likes of those creatures doesn't really have a prayer."

"That includes you as well." Thea slipped in before continuing on with the important matter at hand.

"Do you think that one bookkeeper would have an idea of where it is? The one that constantly sells stuff to humans? Not the one in the market place, the one by that almost-whore house."

"Which one? The short, fat, balding one or the tall, scarecrow-like fellow?" At the mention of the almost-whore house Evan laughed. "You're going to have to be more specific. The number of almost-whore house and actual whore houses that I've seen could possibly rival your age." He said unabashedly.

"The one guy that always says something along the lines of Ba-dunk-a-wonk when talking to me. Or rather my chest. Additionally, don't insult my age... Baby." She smiled at him; her granite eyes narrowed. Thea was significantly older than him and most of the creatures that survived the human domination.

"Oh, yes, the short, fat one. Wouldn't dream of it Love," He ignored her glare and continued on without worry about her possibly being annoyed at him. If Evan worried every single time that she was possibly upset or angry at him, he'd have already gone prematurely gray.

Thea sarcastically laughed as she walked towards the exit of the Troll market. The large engraved door groaned opened letting the two enter into the human world, which was a dank corridor with minimal light, smelled of garbage, and was underneath a busy bridge, by the sound of the honking cars.

Evan chose to ignore her comment and laughter. It just wasn't worth the effort of arguing with her because neither party would prove nor gain anything from such a squabble. As soon as they were back in the human world Evan felt a little more at peace. He preferred the human realm not only because he was amongst creatures that were undeniably weaker and inferior to him, but because he could easily dupe and manipulate them into doing anything he wanted if he so desired. It was things like that which made coming back to the human world feel better than going home...not that he really had a home mind you.

"Lead the way city-dweller to the short fat shop owner that I hate." She didn't like the idea of talking to the short, overweight, smelly stub of a being again. The first time Thea talked to the man she was highly motivated to pour gasoline on him and light him on fire, while enjoying roasted marshmallows.

"If your heart so desires it, Darling." He replied easily as he led the way down numerous streets, through dark alleyways, and past a few homeless beggars that sought out the pair like an insect seeks out the brightest of lights. Finally the two made their way to their intended destination.

"I am quickly reminded why I miss living at the museum. Or in a private collection." Thea mused as they walked away from the buzzing homeless. She stood in front of the shop and tilted her head, "He renovated it? Or I just hate this place that much."

"Yes, but did you ever have this much fun and excitement living at the museum? I think not." Evan countered easily.

The shop was squeezed between a strip club and bar that was overflowing with drunk, hammered and semi-drunk people. "What a party next door." She mused as they two of them entered the old occult looking store. A bell chimed as the door opened and the lights creepily took their time to light the room. Books everywhere, skeletons of various animals and humans scattered around the room. A spider or two quickly scurried away from the light and the short stub of a man appeared from the darkness smiling at the two of them.

"I have no clue; you know he and I aren't exactly best friends, drinking buddies, or anything of the sort." He said reaching for the door.

"If you ever become this creepy, I will kill you."

"Trust me, for me to sink to this level of creepy I would have to shrink seven inches, go on a binge eating diet of fast food alone, forgo exercise, forget anything I've ever known about personal hygiene, have never seen a toothbrush -let alone a dentist- in my life, have never had sex with anyone -much less with a woman, and find taxidermy a turn on. I can say with the utmost confidence that such things would never happen without the aid of a lobotomy." Evan replied, horrified that she think he'd ever become such a foul, loathsome creature.

Once inside Evan looked over the place as he normally did. Always careful of his surroundings, making certain that he, of course, was in control over any possible situation that might arise. When his eyes fell on the short, sad, stubby creature that unfortunately be called a human being, much less a man, he refrained from giving in to the urge to vomit. To say that the man was repulsive was insulting to repulsive people. Patchy, graying, black hair, stature not above five feet five inches tall, and a large stomach that made it necissary for him to wear braces (suspenders) to keep his pants from falling to the floor. His sense of style was horrendous, his clothes neither matched nor fit properly. The man's pants were far too large for him, which was saying something considering his size, and his shirt was too small in such a way that the buttons on his shirt seemed to cling to the holes that secured the garment closed for dear life. It was all these things, and the man's poor dental work that made the lacking dental work that used to be categorized with the Brits look appealing, that made Evan wish that every time that the pair saw the man that it would be their last encounter with the hideous being.

Thea's mouth twitched in disgust as the walking lard pile moved towards them, he smile baring his disturbingly yellow teeth mainly at her. The urge to vomit and kill was unbearable upon the woman staring down at the creature.

There was a slight pause as Thea composed herself, to prevent vomit from exiting her mouth as she spoke, "Have you seen this?" From the folds of her cloak the piece of parchment appeared in her hands. The balding man grabbed the parchment from her hand, touching her hand in the process sending chills up her spin.

He turned the picture around and around and around, breathing heavily the entire time. His small black eyes moving rapidly back and forth over and over again. Thea was certain that if he kept this up the old sod would die right in front of them.

"Yes, yes. I've seen this before." He brayed at Thea happily, before turning around and heading to the back of his shop, "But, but someone has already bought it. Yesssss. Let me look in my recordsss."

Thea carefully placed her hand over her mouth to hide her expression of distaste towards the man. Her granite eyes closed in concentration as the man disappeared behind several piles of book in various states of decay and wear. Then the slimy donkey voice floated over the book towards them.

"Yess, here it iss. It was sold to Duke Ackerley."

"Thank you for your time. We must leave." Thea quickly stated as she promptly turned around and made a bee-line to the door.

"Wait don't you need this baaack?" The man squealed as she left, she didn't even bother to turn around.

"No. Keep it."

Evan kept out of the conversation. Generally there was a rule to dealing with this man that he followed, and it was do not speak unless directly spoken to. He did not want to deal with such a revolting creature and so to go out of his way to strike up a conversation with the sad excuse for a man would simply be further increasing his torture. Therefore Thea dealt with him, well, it was that and the pathetic man's fondness for her that condemned her to such a fate.

When Thea left without retrieving the parchment Evan couldn't blame her. Any poor unfortunate soul that actually had to come into physical contract with such a horrid creature would probably have to bathe more than ten times to ever achieve a feeling of being clean again.

Evan exited the shop a few steps behind Thea, leaving without uttering a single syllable to the shop keeper.

"Let's not go in there ever again. Even if we're being hunted by every living thing on this planet." Thea exhaled as she hurried down the street away from the store.

"Trust me the feeling is mutual. I never want to see that disgusting man again." Evan muttered.


	2. Meet the Favorites

"So this Duke Ackerley, where do you suppose the pompous git lives?" He asked Thea as the two wandered down the dark streets together.

"As for this duke, I was in his collection for awhile. Until I left. His butler would always talk to me. It was rather unnerving listening to his rambling day in and day out." Thea stated as she lead the way, her black cloak occasionally flowing out as if she was Batman. Soon they arrive in the ritzy and well maintained part of town in front of one of the larger buildings. With a huge iron fence, stone pillars and an ungodly long driveway to the tried to keep up with her, but she was certainly moving rather quickly. Evan seemed to always be at least two steps behind her as she made her way down the many streets and avenues.

"Oh really? How, may I ask, did you escape?" What bothered Evan was that he didn't know a whole lot about Thea's background. He only knew the bits and pieces that she felt like revealing to him. Sometimes he wasn't even sure if the things she told him were entirely true. Unfortunately, until proven otherwise Evan would just have to take what she told him as fact.

"Yes, the main security is rather simplistic, but what about the interior? Laser beams, guard dogs, anything that I should be aware of before going in?" He questioned.

"Escape? He sold me to myself. It was rather hilarious, and very difficult not to laugh while I talked to him." Thea smiled, "Hmm. Inside security. He did have several well trained German Shepard's, but they should remember me. Laser beams around his gallery and the entrance of his den. Also in his den there's a secret vault that is protected by retina, voice and hand print recognition equipment. Maybe some lasers. It has been several years after all."

"There we go." Thea stated, "The security should not be a problem for you... And why is there a garbage truck up there?"

"A garbage truck? How should I know? People make garbage through the course of their daily lives and therefore someone has the lovely job of disposing of such waste product?"

"Alright..." he listened intently as Thea gave him a rundown of what awaited him inside. German Shepards, please, they could do better than that. Lasers, those were even easier than the dogs. It seemed as if he'd have no trouble getting exactly what the wanted from this poor git. "Sounds easy enough."

She tilted her head to view the garbage truck better through the fence. "But the garbage trucks in this area are green and white, this one is gray and hardly dirty for a garbage truck. Even a new one." Thea shrugged as she waited for Evan to come up with a brilliant plan to sneak past all of the security and obstacles that awaited them.

"Well, for the moment the suspicious garbage truck does not seem to threaten the operation. If it should prove otherwise we shall deal with it when that moment comes. Trust me, whatever tries to stand in our way will not prevent us from acquiring our target."

He formulated a plan rather quickly; after all, it was a simple job as long as nothing stood in their way to complicate this mess. "So I'll get past all the main security easy and the dogs will be easy to get around. Now do they have free run of the place or are the secluded to one sector or area of the estate? If they have free run, you will keep them occupied while I search his den. Hopefully he'll have some kind of pictures up and I can use them to see just exactly what this man looks like. After that the lasers are simple, and then the retina and hand prints won't be anything to worry about. The only problem I see is trying to duplicate this man's voice without hearing it before. Do you know of any way that I could get a sample of some kind?" He may have been the seemingly easygoing, slacker type, but when it came to his job there was no doubt that he was the best in his field.

Thea listened intently and tried to recall what she could. "The guards are scheduled to be in certain places, I don't recall, but they typically just stay in the control room playing poker. As for the dogs they roam freely. Now the voice that will be challenging.."

Evan nodded as he tried to mentally run through the plan two more times before deciding that he was most certainly well prepared for what awaited the pair. She chewed her lip for a few seconds before an idea appeared in her head, "Did you watch The Daily Show two days ago? He was a guest on there." While waiting for him to initiate the plan or ask her for a better idea, she removed her cloak and tied back her long snow white hair into a pony tail. Underneath her cloak she sported tall black biker boots, dark green cargo pants, and a long-sleeved black shirt with '+2 Charisma' in white across her chest.

Sadly he shook his head, "No I didn't see it. However, I am blessed to have one of these." Evan pulled out his smart phone and in a manner of seconds he had an internet connection as was able to retrieve a clip of the Duke speaking. He studied every subtle nuance that could be found in the man's voice and then shut the phone off before returning it to his pocket. "Alright, all set?" He asked her.

"I guess those things are handy. I should pick one up someday." Thea watched him listen to the Duke's voice, he always did a slight head tilt when he was studying someone's voice.

To Evan it didn't really matter what he was wearing. He was always prepared and able to adapt to anything. Therefore his attire of a dark navy t-shirt and a pair of slightly ripped, dark blue jeans were fairly suitable. Evan closed his eyes and cleared his mind of everything except for the man's voice and his plan to break in. The sense of calm that overtook him was familiar and welcome, and after one more minute he opened his eyes, now perfectly focused on the mission at hand.

"I'm ready, ladies first or shall the gentleman open the door for his companion?" She asked smiling. It was always fun joking around while they broke into people's houses for money or food.

"While I don't doubt your ability to break through this security, what sort of gentleman would I be if I did not open the door for you?" He winked at her before he shape shifted into a black crow and flew over the iron wrought gate before them. He soared easily over the gate and over to the access pad to open the gate for his companion.

"What a nice man." Thea smiled as the door opened and she sauntered in and followed Evan up to the house. The garbage truck was parked right out front with plenty on men wandering around in suits. Thea and Evan casually peered out from the cover of trees and bushes.

"I can be very nice...when I want to be." Evan replied as he transformed back into himself and waited for Thea to catch up. Yes, the mysterious garbage truck bothered him a little, but he ignored it so as to continue on with the task at hand.

"That garbage truck must be a disguised party bus." She mused as they watched the men talk into either their collars or cuffs.

"Perhaps, but right now we have dogs, guards, lasers, and whatnot to contend with. Now, is there some code or something I need to enter to open this door?" He questioned as he looked at the front entrance.

"Technically speaking, the front door is open, slightly, but with the party wagon and participants having a blast outside. As for a side entrance, the pool would be the best place and should have a simple digital padlock. Which should be easy enough to hack." She strode past Evan and towards the back. She looked through the large glass doors. There was blood everywhere. The amount of blood in the room was truly mind boggling.

"Side entrance it is then," Evan quickly responded. He rapidly made work of the digital padlock that kept him from simply waltzing inside the house. The remark Thea made about the garbage truck not being a party bus never reached him, because he had already made his way inside.

"That was not a party bus."

Slipping silently down the hall he found the Duke's study without being attacked by the hounds. Such a thing made him uneasy, but yet he continued on. Hopefully Thea wasn't too far behind.

Thea rolled her eyes and walked down the hallway catching up to Evan. The dogs were already in their kennels to prevent them from attacking the people outside.

"I'm not too sure how this door is triggered, if at all." Thea whispered before she skillfully broke the lock with her hand and slowly opened the door. The den looked exactly the same as when she left it years ago, however, there was new blood splattered across one wall with some flesh and fabric sitting on the bottom slowly rotting away.

"We better hurry before the suits notice us."

Evan carefully made his way through the study and over toward the back wall. He inspected the blood spattered wall by running his hands over the surface to check for any raised areas. The surface seemed perfectly smooth, no raised edges to be found, and so Evan began knocking against the wall, listening for a hollow sounding spot.

"Do you remember where exactly the safe is? If this is even the right wall to be checking?" Evan asked.

Thea looked around the room, turning around and around. "To be honest, he changed everything around here. Oh wait. There it is." She pointed to a large painting, The Last Supper, "A copy but the goods should be in the safe underneath. Good luck." Thea walked towards the door they entered through silently cracked the door open, carefully watching the hallway for Suits and whatever killed the Duke.

The Last Supper, it seemed really cliché to him. Didn't anyone have a sense of originality these days? If not could they at least put up something far more interesting? Regardless, Evan lifted the painting and set it aside carefully. The safe underneath was larger than he expected, but it didn't matter. He shifted forms once more to look precisely like the Duke. He placed his hand in the indicated area, leaned forward for the retinal scan, and when the prompt for the voice recognition was given he produced a perfect copy of the Duke's voice as well.

It was a matter of seconds before Evan was granted access of the contents of the safe and he pulled open the metal door. Rapidly he searched through what he found inside. Numerous papers, family heirlooms, and other items could be found easily, but what he searched for eluded him. It was a moment later before Evan -now transformed back to his proper form, cursed rather loudly in frustration. What they sought was not in the safe.

Thea quickly reappeared in the room and hushed Evan and hissed at him, "People are coming, hide!" She was gone in the blink of the eye hidden on top of a bookcase in the darkest corner.

Evan didn't need Thea's scolding; he was hating himself enough for such a foolish thing. As soon as the words had left her mouth, Evan had transformed into a spider, crawled up the wall, and found himself a nice spot in the air duct to camp out.

Soon the door entered and an average human male entered with a sharp tux he was commenting about the bodies and how they suspected the creature was still around the area. Behind him Hellboy entered, tall, red and smoking a large cigar. He casually sauntered in dully looking around even at the puréed body.

"Hey Abe, do you sense if Jack the Ripper is still around?"

When the large red, figure entered the room Evan made sure to study this new and interesting specimen. Sure, he'd heard of Hellboy, but to see him was another thing. Once the smell of cigar smoke reached him, Evan's stomach clenched. If Evan had been in possession of a proper nose it would have wrinkled in revulsion. Such a thing was not possible in his current state. Such reactions were called for because he was the type of man who, when he felt like it, only smoked fine cigarettes or nothing at all. Cigars were viewed as lewd, distasteful things to him and so his body had horrid adverse reactions to not only their smell, but also he had to remain from flinching in disgust at their presence.

The tall, lanky, fish-man followed into the room shortly after the two. He was dressed in his usual black garments, and was just about to pull off one of his dark gloves as Hellboy spoke.

"Just a moment," he said politely.

Hellboy's sharp golden eyes carefully moved across the bookcase Thea was hiding above. She prayed and hoped that the disgusting cigar smoke that spewed from between his lips was what he noticed and not her. A few dangerous seconds passed as Thea awaited Hellboy's didn't even dare breathe as Hellboy neared Thea's hiding spot. Sure Thea could handle herself, but she still could be caught nonetheless. He hated watching idly by while the "new comers" sauntered about the place as if they owned it. Evan tracked their movements carefully -especially the fish-man. There was something about him that Evan found unsettling, but he couldn't fathom what it was. It certainly wasn't the man's appearance, no, Evan had seen far stranger creatures before. The fish man could even be considered normal or ordinary compared to those insane and incredible beings.

"Never mind, thought I saw something." He muttered and waved his hand at Abe to do his thing. Which worried Thea significantly; she had met several other beings like Abe and knew what they could do, if he touched anything the gig would be up for them, and for the Butcher. Knowing all of these facts and that she stood no real chance against the two of them she headed forward with her plan.

Lunging out of her hiding spot she went for Hellboy first, unnoticed until a second before impact. The momentum of her weight sent Hellboy onto his back; his cigar flew into the air, with a surprised grunt. She leaped off of him and landed skillfully on top of a table. Next closest target was Abe. She jumped down close to him and attempted a roundhouse kick, since her hands were bare, but the slippery being rolled out of the way to her left and tried to sweep her feet from beneath her. She easily dodged Abe by rolling forward to avoid Hellboy's massive punch as well. She was now right by the door, right where she wanted to be. Thea ran out and hoped that Evan was smart enough to either escape via air duct or follow her out. She quickly closed it as Hellboy made another swing at her, instead he hit the door splintering most of it and jamming the hinges in place. Thea bolted down the path the two of them took earlier today praying that she didn't have to tackle anyone else.

It all seemed to happen in a matter of seconds. First Thea's cleverly and skillfully hidden body darting forward to attack the large, red man, and then all of a sudden she's pummeling the poor bastard. The fish-man fared no better it appeared. Her escape was certainly...something. Evan supposed he'd leave the dramatics to Thea and simply flew through the maze-like air duct to the outside. Hastily, he followed her trail, hoping that the fish and the red ape were far too busy to follow.

"Where the hell was she hiding?" Hellboy growled at Abe as he broke down the door and started the chase several seconds late. He was furious that he was outwitted for the third time today.

"I'm not sure." Abe replied as he rushed to keep up with Hellboy

"OUT OF THE WAY!" Hellboy yelled as suits began to appear between him and Thea. Hellboy seriously thought that Thea was going to slaughter the men like the Duke, but instead she jumped right over them and continued to run. They were stunned until Hellboy pushed them out of the way and Abe quickly apologized for him. Within a minute she ran from the Den all the way to the glass door her and Evan entered through. Once outside Thea nimbly jumped over the mini-bar making a bee-line to the fence. Hellboy chased her right through the glass door and mini-bar. He was slowly gaining ground on her. The spectacle of the whole situation was almost better than watching the circus perform. It was so vastly entertaining that Evan had transformed himself into a hawk and perched himself atop a building to watch the events pan out. Yes, Evan was watching his partner deal with her plight rather than do anything to help her out, but really... Thea was quite capable. Evan could easily recognize when Thea was in over her head, and when -and if, that moment came it would only take a matter of seconds for him to transform once again and save her. Thea's current state didn't cause Evan the slightest bit of worry. The two chasing her had no idea who or what they were dealing with. Clearly that left Thea with the upperhand in the situation. Had either of the pair understood exactly what Thea was, then perhaps he might have felt a little guilty leaving her to deal with the two.

"Shitcakes." She muttered as she jumped right over the tall metal fence heading towards the street, leaving a huge imprint on the ground, the ferocious red man could not slow himself enough to avoid running straight into the fence and bending it completely out of shape. Thea landed a fair distance away from the gate and quickly crossed the street, dodging several cars and was lost in the crowd. After the little "show" was over, Evan flew over the tops of several buildings searching for Thea's hiding place. Knowing that alleyways were her favorite spots to seek out, it didn't take him long to find her. He landed on stairs leading up to the front steps of an apartment building before transforming back into his usual form.

"Damn it. She got away." Hellboy growled as he stood up and looked at the fence. Abe appeared and looked at the fence then at Hellboy.

"Interesting that she easily leapt over the fence." Abe noted as he looked closely at the bent metal. Hellboy rolled his eyes and started the walk back to the mansion.

"We'll just have to search for her after we figure out what happened to the Duke. Come on Abe." He muttered, he would not hear the end of possibly letting the killer of the Duke literally slip between his fingers.

"You're fairing pretty well there darlin', maybe even better than usual," he said with a sly grin, "You been working out when my back was turned?"

"Better than usual? What a flattering comment, Evan." Thea stated smiling. Hellboy was no problem to escape from; she was more concerned with Abe's abilities and knowledge.

"Well it got you to smile," he replied as he then stood and took several steps toward her, "You've gotten something from it, but what do I get out of it then?" His eyes found hers and then trailed to look at her mouth where that smile stayed...at least for now.

"Yes because that escape was quite fun. Though, I don't want to test if Hellboy's special bullets would hurt me." She casually slid her hands into her back pockets while talking to Evan. The excitement was already gone.

"Back to the point. First, since Hellboy was where the piece was, we now must assume someone got it and we're back to square one. Let's hope that Hellboy and his gang did not take it because we would have to go inside the BPRD. Which is crawling with wards and other dangers." She really disliked things when they don't go her way. But the chase through the house was quite fun, even with Hellboy threatening to shoot her.

"You say 'wards and other dangers' as if such things ought to bring me to my knees in terror. Trust me darlin' very few things can bring one such as I to my knees and fear is most certainly not involved." His eyes shone with mischief as he spoke.

"The wards were created to stop shapeshifters such as yourself from disguising as another person and raiding the place." Thea stated looking bored at Evan, he could be idiotically bold and confident at times. The B.P.R.D. was not a place to underestimate and scoff at. Evan refrained from grimacing at the mention of what the wards were truly capable of.

"Don't delude yourself, I think we both know that there is nothing on this earth that can keep me from getting what I want. Wards or no wards, it doesn't matter to someone like me." He spouted confidently. "Their security systems are probably nothing that I haven't seen before."

"Either way the next variable, Fishboy, is a huge problem. He has a vast knowledge and some of his race tends to develop the ability to read an object's history and other mental powers. You can see why this would be a problem while we continue our search for the third piece and why I started a scene." Thea stated looking at Evan with a slight pout on her face.

"Ah, yes, you're afraid the fishman will figure out who you are, what you are, and find out all your dirty little secrets I presume? Perhaps I should just let him...the devil only knows what has really happened to you." Thea told him a few stories of her past, but sometimes the woman exaggerated or joked; so it was impossible to know if what she told him was fact sometimes. He'd known her for going on three years now and still he had more questions than answers. She gave him a stark disapproving look, he did not need to know her past.

"If fishboy were to go and do that he would know all about you and his head might explode. Which would send Hellboy on one hell of a Revenge Killing Spree. Plus many of those dirty little secrets involve many creatures that do not need to be pissed off. Mainly the sleeping dragons, those beasts are scary when you disturb their sleep." Thea's face held no real expression, once again forcing Evan to ponder if she was telling the truth or not. It was such a fun game to Thea to see if he would ever figure out what was true.

"Good point, it is best if the government -even a faction as seemingly unknown as the B.P.R.D, remained in the dark about me, my abilities, and my 'activities'...recreational or otherwise," a devious look shone in those blue eyes of his as he spoke. He took no heed of those supposed creatures that she spoke of; after all, Evan always found a way out of whatever shitty situation he wound up in.

"I bet most of the security you have seen before, but I also believe that there is more that you have not seen, or felt, before." Thea smiled evilly at Evan. She once strolled around the B.P.R.D. while it was under construction years ago and she had problems even then

"Now onto the biggest question of all. What now?" She asked. Evan always seemed to know what general direction they should go in order to get back on track, hopefully, his powers have not faded.


	3. Meet the Bystanders

"Now, now we go home and regroup. We shall decide whether it is best to assume that the BPRD retrieved our prize before us, or that it fell into another party's hands. However, such a decision will be made after the both of us are well rested." Evan replied.

He stuffed his hand into one of the pockets of his black jeans. "Bollocks, I forgot that I left my pack of smokes on the table this mornin'. You wouldn't have happened to have noticed that and picked them up for me?" He looked at her hopefully.

"You mean, when you're well rested. Why must you forget that I don't need sleep or food?" Thea teased as she started to walk back to their hideout, "And as for your smokes, they're still on the table. We could always buy a pack on the way back." She started to ponder their decision, does the B.P.R.D. have the crown piece or someone else...

"It happens, when you spend as much time around humans as much as we do, and because I am one of the beings that requires sleep, it is easy to forget that some beings do not need to rest," Evan replied casually as they continued on their way.

Disgusted, Evan sneered at the idea, "Ugh, no, I have never had to pay for a pack in all the years that I have been smoking." Why would he spend his "hard earned" money on smokes when the generosity of strangers took care of such a thing? It baffled him to think that Thea wouldn't realize this.

.

"Oh, while you're seducing someone to buy you some cigarettes could you ask them to buy some Reese's candy for me? Though I would like to see you crack into the B.P.R.D. by yourself." She asked, ignoring his sneer. Even though she had no need to eat, sleep or drink, she did enjoy participating in such activities from time to time.

"Trust me, I've seen quite a bit in the years I've been alive. However, that probably pales in comparison to you because not all of us can live for centuries." He was tempted to call her Grandma but thought the better of it. She had endured a long, hard night and did not need him tormenting her further. After all, it would also be unwise to do so, if she were to seek revenge upon him he'd be at a great disadvantage... Evan unfortunately needed sleep, where as Thea had no use for such a thing.

"You are correct, your experiences can't even hold a candle to mine." Thea replied. Her thoughts started to wonder back through her past causing her smile a bit, oh she had some good times.

"Also, what do you want to eat tonight? Knowing your kitchen skills you'll set the whole building on fire." Thea smirked, her eyes lighting up with amusement at Evan's poor cooking skills. She remembered the first time he nearly set their apartment on fire... He was making a peanut-butter and jelly sandwich.

"I don't know, it depends on how hungry I am afterward..." he said, hoping that she understood what he meant. "One such as I was simply not made to cook. It's just fate that I am to forever rely on others to satisfy my hunger."

A few feet ahead of them stood a man and a woman -obviously a couple, getting out of a cab. The man was moderately tall, had honey blonde hair, and there was a confident air that lingered about him. His attire was rather dressy; black slacks and dress shoes, a white dress shirt, and would have been sporting a suit coat had it not been draped over the shoulders of his companion. The dark haired woman pulled the jacket tighter around her as if it would help shield her from the night air, as if it would make up for her short, emerald green, coctail dress. Evan smiled, genuinely smiled at the sight of the pair.

"Ah yes, someone...what a very close-minded idea, or is it that you doubt my abilities?" Evan had barely had to look at the people up ahead to know they were easy targets.

"Someone being a close-minded idea? That word is almost as general as it or that... As for your abilities to 'motivate' humans to do whatever you pleased, it's obviously something you mastered before you knew what the hell you were doing." She stated, slightly confused by his logic and boasting of his abilities. She knew perfectly well what he could do, seduce humans in mere seconds, and what he couldn't do to save his life- prepare anything as complex as a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. She waited for Evan to work his magic and bring her the goddamn Reeses she desired.

Even though the two of them escaped Hellboy and the B.P.R.D., the recently deceased Duke was not that lucky. His body was carefully inspected by Abe, while Hellboy looked through the safe that Evan left ajar.

"Well, nothing interesting here." Hellboy bluntly stated around his lit cigar.

"Newspaper clippings, a will, some notes, family heirlooms, a Twinkie. Why the hell does he have a Twinkie in a safe?" Hellboy asked as he emptied the safe Evan broke into earlier.

If Abe could roll his eyes, he would have at Hellboy at that very moment. Finally he found the right time frame for the Duke's death, about three hours again. The amphibian replayed the memory and discovered that the Duke hidden something mere minutes before a heavily clothed creature that smelled of rotting flesh smeared him across the wall with the enthusiastic of child with paint. The creature turned around several times, presumably looking around the room, and then left with a frustrated sounding hiss.

"Well, this is interesting." Abe stated. Hellboy looked over the sealed Twinkie at his friend with a questioning look on his face.

Abe slowly walked to the Duke's hiding place, avoiding the pools of blood, and pulled out a small wooden box from a well worn traveling trunk.

"I believe the Duke died because of this."

"A square piece of wood? How... boring..." Hellboy stated, highly disappointed. There was nothing obviously interesting about the box. It was a dark brown, no markings, no hinges, absolutely nothing outstanding about it. Hellboy here was expecting something exotic and exciting, something to break the dull cycle of beating up smaller creatures and being lectured about being seen on television once again.

"No, actually it is quite interesting because I cannot obtain any feelings or memories from it." Abe stated, Hellboy's disappointed and bored expression did not change. Ash quietly fell from his cigar onto the wooden floor while the two stared at each other.

"And that is important... Why?" Hellboy asked as Liz walked into the room.

"Any luck guys?" She asked, obviously she had no luck in her search either.

"We found a square piece of wood." Hellboy stated as he plucked the box from Abe's webbed hand and handed it to her.

"Anything special about this?"

"No." Hellboy reported.  
"Yes." Abe said over Hellboy's denial of the importance of the box. He gently grabbed the box from Liz's hand and turned it over. Abe carefully pointed to a hair thin crack that wrapped around the entire box.

"Oh." Hellboy and Liz exhaled as Abe proved the value of the box.

"Well can you open it?" Liz asked as Abe turned it over and around inspecting it carefully.

"No.. Not at the moment. I will have to do some research." Abe responded while Hellboy walked out of the room, once again bored. He hated when Abe was about to do research.

"Well then, we're done here. Got a clue, now it's time to let the cleanup crew do what they do best. Come on Liz, I'll buy you a drink." Hellboy smiled at his love, who smiled back but shook her head.

"You know you can't go out into the public."

"So?"

"Learned before I knew what I was doing? What sort of joke are you trying to make? I fail to see the humor in something so terribly wrong. The truth of the matter is that I always knew what I was doing. Even as a child I knew that I was manipulating people, that I used the way I looked to get what I wanted from them. They were all too happy to help out such a cute child, and I was all too happy to accept their gifts and favors. Sure, it has progressed to what it is now, but don't ever delude yourself to thinking that I have ever been anything more than I am now. Being naive is something that eluded me considering my nature," Evan replied setting Thea straight. The idea that he never knew what he was doing was absurd. No, even as a child he knew what he was and knew precisely what he was capable of.

He really wasn't sure that he wanted to give her the candy she desired after making those accusations of him, but nonetheless Evan did it anyway. He strolled ahead and made his way toward the couple.

"Excuse me, might I bother you two for a moment?" He started very innocuously.

The pair turned around to look at him. The woman openly and unabashedly looked him over head to toe, inspecting this intruder; judging by the look in her eye she was rather impressed with what she saw.

"What is it that you want?" The man asked, looking not as welcoming of this newcomer.

"Not much, just two packs of Kent cigarettes and Reese's candy," Evan replied confidently.

"This is not a convenience store, and I'm sure as hell not going to get them for you," the man replied rather annoyed.

"I see, well what about this lovely lady right here," he turned to address the woman now. "I can tell that you crave something dark, something that will satisfy your want." Evan's eyes locked onto the woman's dark green eyes and refused to waver for a second. "If you desire it, you should take exactly what you want."

The woman moved closer to Evan, like a moth drawn to a flame she wanted only to be near this enthralling stranger. She didn't believe that such a person existed, that this wasn't some ghost, and she wanted nothing more than to touch this man, to see for herself that he was indeed made of flesh and bone.

Evan could see her being caught up in his looks. It was funny, currently he wasn't even doing anything, he wasn't even trying, and yet the woman was minutes away from bending to his will, then proceeding to melt. He pulled her closer until there was no space between the two.

"If you want something then I suggest you tell him to fetch me two packs of Kents and the candy. If you truly desire what I can see in your eyes, then allow me the use of your home tonight."

The woman dumbly nodded, she handed over the key to the apartment they'd been standing in front of, and then looked at the man.

"You heard what he said, now go," she ordered.

"You can't be serious!" He replied, outraged at the very idea.

Evan turned on the man now. He had already snared the woman, but the man's resolve was slightly more than what had been expected.

"A man shouldn't talk to a lady like that. Only cowards and the inferior speak thusly...so which one are you?" His eyes had trailed over the man's physic briefly as he had said this.

The man shifted uncomfortably under Evan's gaze, but slowly the blonde crumbled and relented.

"I-I," he stuttered.

"Is it that you lack something perhaps? That you do not have the ability to entertain a woman such as her? Or maybe it is that you're trying to play pretend; that you don't have an interest in women whatsoever," Evan's gaze narrowed as if he knew, as if what he had spoken was fact.

The man's composure faltered, and that was when Evan knew that he'd won without having to resort to enthralling the man.

"Like I said, two packs of Kents and Reese's candy. You're welcome to stay the night here with us." Evan offered confidently as he watched the pair make their way further down the street away from the apartment.

"Hey, Thea, we don't have to make the long trek home tonight, that lovely woman is allowing us the use of her apartment." his grin stretched for miles.

Thea placed her hand over her face and mumbled, "I was referring sexually, moron." Thea casually watched him stroll over to the woman through her fingers before finally lowering her hand. After a few seconds of watching Evan seduce the woman and caused her man to almost start a ruckus, Thea became bored. She reached down her shirt to pull out her aged, battered cellphone. It was powerful enough to handle text messages with pictures, but that was it. She quickly clicked away on her phone until she heard her name. With a slightly glazed over look, she tilted her head towards his, actually listening to what he said this time. Evan ignored her comment; she probably didn't want to know that incubi –being sex demons and all—are born with innate sexual prowess. Humans however, weren't as lucky; often they had to learn through trial and error, much like a child learning to walk. In contrast incubi might as well have been born already capable of running. Evan shuddered at the idea of fumbling and being so inadequate, such a thing was the stuff of nightmares to an incubi.

"Huh, how sweet of her. Are we going there now?" She asked not taking her eyes off of her cellphone and walked towards him and his new date.

"Yeah, it's just a few apartments down."

He waited for her to close some of the distance between the two of them before he considered walking. His strides were longer than hers after all.

"Before you ask, I'm not telling you what I'm texting about."

"Oh really? You sexting someone darling?" He questioned, a smirk gracing his features. "Should I be worried?"

"Totally. You should be so worried about me being the pimp mama of a large legion of bishies, hot mamas, hoes and Greek gods..." Thea casually closed her phone.

"At this rate I'll take over the world before Trion Ierarchon day, assuming that my whore count stays constant." She said with a perfectly emotionless face to Evan. Thea casually followed the two rather bored, she was betting that the apartment was in the ugly modern setup instead of the nice modern style. Or something along a bachelor's pad. Evan didn't even try to pretend to know what she just said or what it meant. He simply rolled his eyes at her and continued on toward their destination.

"Right, well, good luck with your whores then," He replied rather disinterested. Though, when he thought about it...one thought did irk him quite a bit. "Why use whores to take over the world?"

"Simple." Thea stated confidently, "You don't expect a whore to pull a fast one on you and leave you lying in the street nude. Plus the fat cats in the government are too stupid to see that coming from their favorite past-time."

"Ah, but you see, that's just one of the many ways I differ from the rest of the world. I do expect such things from the likes of whores. If you should put your trust in those that ought not to be trusted no one is at fault but yourself after all." Evan continued.

"So, what was the status of that man that you just pimped slapped with your new toy's hand?" Her phone beeped angrily at her as she ignored the text messages coming from a mysterious source.

"What status is it that you speak of? Control status, I didn't have to enthrall anyone so...zero percent incubi control, but one hundred percent Ethan sex-appeal control. If you were wondering about his current sexual status...well, we'll see how that goes." His mouth twisted in a wicked grin.

Evan's explanation of sexual and control status flew over Thea's head, mainly because they arrived at the woman's apartment complex and the place was **fancy.**


	4. Time for a Raid

"Nice. Too bad I didn't bring my laptop."

While Thea liked the place Evan was utterly indifferent to it. He had stayed at much nicer places before, and regrettably one less hospitable...so he supposed it'd suffice.

"Pity, you'll just have to find another way to keep yourself occupied," a wicked grin threatened to grace his features. Thea ignored his suggestive tone as she jumped over the couch and landed on it. Her phone mystically flew out of her pants, up into the air then landed in her open hand. Away she went, back to texting, propping her feet up onto the table. Evan removed his shoes, his jacket, and then decided to shirk his shirt as well. It wasn't as if he was going to be needing the garment, or his pants for that matter. He looked at the dark haired woman that he'd picked up and a wicked idea formed in his head.

"Hey, my magical network of bishies just saw what we were looking for... And they know where it's going." Thea called out to Evan who was sauntering away with the woman towards the bedroom.

"Hu, well that's rather fortunate." Evan said in between bouts of whispering things in the dark haired woman's ear, "You're whores work quickly."

"The wonderful B.P.R.D." She smiled at how ironic it was. The two of them couldn't find it, or the butcher, but those morons did.

"Fantastic, well that's fantastic news and all, but now if you'll excuse me...I'm rather hungry and I'd like to enjoy my dinner." With those parting words he tossed the last remaining article of clothing he'd had on, his boxers, at Thea -where they conveniently landed on top of her head, before dashing up the stairs. She let the boxers fall on her head simply because she DID NOT want to see him naked. The image would be forever burned into her mind and what had been seen cannot be unseen. Evan may not have gotten the reaction he had wanted out of Thea, there were always other opportunities to do so later. Once he was gone Thea grabbed the boxers and debated about what she could do with them. Or some other piece of clothing.

A sock.

She grabbed one of his socks, threw it into the sink turned the water on, and then threw the wet sock into the freezer. Done with the deed, Thea exited the apartment, taking a spare key with her, and headed to the store to satisfy her craving and to ignore Evan because the poor man who went to buy cigarettes and candy for Evan and her never appeared.

As soon as they were within the confines of the woman's room, Evan's rather composed exterior was discarded like a snake shedding its skin.

"What's your name?" He asked as he looked her over in a way that could only be called 'predatory'.

"Nora," she replied. She had been playful and flirty downstairs, but now as she caught the full power of that look in his eyes and she acted more like a frightened child.

"No, you're whoever and whatever I want you to be," he was undeniably charming, and welcoming. However, there was also that edge to him that ought to have set off all of Nora's internal alarms signaling danger and that she should run away -not that she'd get very far mind you.

Evan was quite aware of Thea leaving, having heard the door close. He wished her as much luck with her late night activities as he was about to have. Then Evan pulled Nora toward him, "Darlin', I may not remember your name in the morning," the pupils of his eyes expanded a little more than what was probably considered human and then promptly retracted to normal size, "but you'll sure remember mine."

BANG.

...

BANG.

...

CRUNCH

Thea picked up both of Evan's shoes and frozen sock, walked back to couch and threw his left shoe as hard as possible against the bedroom door.

BANG.

Now, the right shoe.

BANG.

Thea was thoroughly enjoying herself because of the sheer stupidity of what she was doing.

SPLAT.

After a rather long night Evan awoke to the sound of something thumping against his -at least for the moment- bedroom door. It did not cease, and so he disentangled himself from the dark haired woman, Beth or something -frankly he couldn't remember- and made his way to the door. Before he finally got there he heard a rather loud thump followed by a spalt and that's when he decided that he was truly pissed off that someone had disrupted his slumber.

"Aww the sock thawed..." Thea said in a highly disappointed voice as she watched the sock slowly ooze down the door.

"I should have frozen his shirt as well.." She mused as she waited for Evan to burst out yelling something obscene at her while throwing something back at her.

"Oh well. I guess I can go get the piece myself from Hellyboy..." Thea stated as she casually walked behind the couch, ready to duck.. Just in case. Quietly though, he transformed into a spider and made his way into the front room living area. Once Evan found Thea seeking refuge behind the couch he crawled his way down the wall and over to where she stood. He transformed back to his usual self, choosing to stand right behind her.

"What are you hiding from, darlin'?" His voice deep, dark, and foreboding.

Thea didn't jump, she had become rather used to Evan appearing in unorthodox places.

"Naturally I'm hiding from Freddy. I hate his hat." She stated looking at her cellphone.

"Also his fashion sense. Additionally, that splat was your sock, the boomshakalaka was you and the loud thud was your shoes. Oh, the piece is at Hellboy's pad. They picked up the box and took it back as a memento." She finally moved her eyes away from the constant flow of messages on her phone to Evan's eyes.

"What on earth made you think that you could wake me in such a manner?" His voice wasn't outright angry; it was rather a calm tone with an underlying rage hidden just below the surface. After all, running on one hour of sleep was not productive for him

.  
"Who said I was thinking? You know that happens sometimes." Thea replied curious as to why Evan was angry, she did stunts like this all the time to him. With a roll of his eyes Evan just let the whole matter go. As a being who didn't require sleep Thea would never understand why it was so important and therefore why he was rather pissed.

"I see, well, what do you have to say for yourself exactly?" His questioned as he processed the rest of her sentences.

"As for myself. I have to say I have a nice body and if I was to walk into the BPRD they would know who I was right away. I, well.. Let's just say, messed with them some time ago and they're not very forgiving."

She smiled at him. Then off she went over the couch, "Well if we're going soon, how about getting dressed. I don't want to shell out more money to get you bailed out on public indecency. Again."

"Like you'd have to. Not a person alive would put me away...cept that one old guy from Georgia, he was just not up for a good time, grumpy old geezer." Evan muttered.

"Well, we should probably get going soon then."

"Yes, yes all mighty half demon. You'll be the one sneaking in and out." Thea grinned, she was excited that she didn't have to go back to that place.

"Well then, the mighty half-demon decrees that you make him a cup of coffee while he goes and makes himself, by human standards, decent." He said before making his way back to his room. Evan quickly threw on his clothes from last night, it wasn't the most sanitary thing to do, but it was necissary. He'd change as soon as they went back to his place.

"Very well then. One cup of coffee for the one cup of demon. I'll put in a hint of awesome just for you." Thea called out as Evan walked away. She wasn't serious about anything except for the coffee. One cup of the darkest coffee that the woman's coffee maker could produce

Once the cup of black coffee, resting in a festive cat cup, was carefully placed on the properly named coffee table. Thea laid back and continued to stare at her phone clicking away at the keys, talking to whoever it was on the other side until Evan smell, the glorious smell. He could smell the coffee brewing down the hall and Evan could already feel better. As if just smelling the dark, warm liquid could breathe life back into him. He closed the door, thanked the universe that Joan -or whatever her name was- was a deep sleeper, and then made his way back to the living room.

"You were there before, so you remember the layout possibly? Well, depending on how long ago you were there I mean."

"In order to give you the layout I need my laptop, back at our place. So, did you procure us a ride?"

Immediately Evan picked up the cup of coffee and downed about a third of it in one gulp. The scorching liquid seared his throat, but it was worth it.

"You always know how to make the best cup of coffee...How do you manage that?" He said as he downed another third.

"It's very simple Evan, I've had hundreds of years to refine the art of making one hell of a badass cup of coffee." She grinned while Evan downed the super hot cup of coffee.

"Ah, yes, our ride," Evan smirked as he finished the cup off and left it atop the coffee table. "Grab your things and I'll show you our ride." He dangled a set of keys in front of her face. A pair of keys that belonged to a beautiful, ink black motorcycle with indigo accents outside.

Thea stood up as Evan did watching him twirl the keys, "I already have everything on me."

As she stepped outside she should have known that it belonged to a motorcycle. He was obsessed with motorcycles; she prayed that for once when he stole some keys it would belong to a sleek car. That dream will never come true. She sighed, waited for him to get on it, then jumped on the back and waited for him to tear down the road and back to the apartment.

He promptly did just that.

"Even though I wouldn't die in a bike accident I feel as if I were to fall off with you driving I would be smeared across the ground for miles upon miles." She hated driving with him; it's one of the few things that she feared.

Evan was a good driver. Now having said that, he also sped like the devil was chasing him, always. He could just be out on an errand to grab something from the market -not that he'd ever really do something so mundane, but yet he'd still speed like no tomorrow. His way of thinking was this: If the bike had a maximum speed of two hundred miles or more, then what was the point of only going sixty or less?

Evan just smirked as Thea held onto him with a deathgrip for fear of falling off. Despite the fact that she was nearly indestructable, every time she held onto him for dear life. Besides the rush of speed and adrenaline, that was perhaps his favorite part of riding a motorcycle. It also didn't hurt that they looked amazing.

When they finally arrived at his house, Evan parked the bike inside the garage and tapped Thea's hands.

"Let go luv, need to be getting on our way," with a roguish smile he added, "We can cuddle later if that's what you want."

She sighed giving up, Evan always had her after a bike ride. Always. Instead she went inside their pad and booted up her laptop, loaded the proper files and projected them onto an empty wall. Evan threw his things on a table and then proceeded to sit down in a nearby chair.

"First, we need to get you transferred in. Easy enough. Second, a reasonable background. Nothing too flashy, dull or typical. Easy. Third, getting you past the barriers without having the place light up like a whore house with a free shipment of drugs. Medium. Fourth, getting to the object, grabbing it and out of the place without anyone being the wiser. Hard. This place is monitored like big sister watching big brother. My whores managed to get one and two done last night. As for three, you'll be stuck with a heavily blessed wristwatch. Which is within the dress code. Oh yeah. Small detail. You'll need to place this," She held out a small USB jump drive, "in one of the computers in order for me to get into their entire system. Without being caught on camera."

Thea motioned toward the screen, "memorize this layout. It is slightly old so there might be some differences. Keep that in mind. Oh right. The ear piece, what would you like? Simple stud, loop or something more flamboyant?" She teased.

"While that all sounds good and dandy, the fact that I'm half demon means that the heavily blessed wristwatch you speak of is not going to be alright. Now, unlike regular demons it won't kill me or whatnot, but it may leave marks. I will have to make sure to constantly shift that part of me, to make sure they are none the wiser of anything being 'amiss' about me." Evan stated logically.

"Right well, for the most part that doesn't sound too bad. Studs or loops darlin' nothing too flashy, because really, when the rest of me is as impressive as it is...Who's going to be looking at my ears? As for my new face, rather handsome devil isn't he? Where'd you drag this look up?" The man had dark brown hair, honey colored eyes rather than blue, looked about early forties with chiseled features. Thea had very good taste, Evan wasn't sure if he could've picked better if he tried.

"I assumed that you would be able to shift around that wonderfully convenient elfish part of you to where the watch was sitting. Studs it is then." She lazily tossed the studs at Evan and continued on with their planning.

"Yes, but it's far more difficult that regular shifting. It may take a little longer than normal which shouldn't be a problem now, but if something should go awry and I have to change forms more than twice, three times tops...we are screwed." Evan explained.

"You mean, you are screwed. I'll be on the outside chilling. While you wade around the hornet's nest."

Briefly Evan scanned the files, "So my name is Andrew Mason, I'm fourty two years old, a wife named Emily, two children named Cassandra and Zachary, one fluffy dog named Vincent...blah blah blah, and I used to be in the military for sixteen years. Anything else I should remember?" Evan questioned, "Also, what would this Andrew Mason sound like? An American I suppose, but still, unsure of the rest."

"I dated him back in 1935, sadly I was too 'wild' for him. He was a charming army man. Charming until the end. As for the American bit, yes, but don't make him sound as if he's one of those southern hicks or yankees. Unsure about what? Evan being unsure. Priceless. Oh that's where that cord is." Thea explained while she noticed a lone cord mostly hidden by the couch. At the end of it was her headset that she would be talking to Evan through.

"I would never make the man a hick. Trust me," his voice shifted, it was half a touch higher than his but still quite alluring, "He'll be every bit as charming, and every bit the gentleman I am."

"Next, we're going in tonight. Here's your back story and look" She pressed a button and the image switched from a layout to a picture of rather attractive man. Slightly older than what Evan was currently stuck at.

"Are you ready?" Thea smiled excited for their daring adventure into the BPRD.

"Almost sweetheart, can't rush perfection."

"I'll answer more questions about the mission in the pimp van." Thea cheered while picking up her beloved laptop and a large mysterious bag by the door.

The mysterious pimp van was a simple soccer mom van in dull tan, but behind the front seats was a computer setup that would make a geek jealous.

"Now go make your wonderful wife Emily proud." Thea teased with an alarmingly huge grin on her face.


End file.
